A little white lie

Have told everyone at home by email that this time was not a success and we will try again later. DH not at all happy with telling untruths, but he accepts and respects my reasons, which are thus. The last two times I have had to tell those rellies and friends that know (my 2 best friends, all 3 of my children + partners, and our parents) that it was not a success, which is very hard and usually makes me cry. DH's parents are longing for a grand child and suddenly i have all the guilt of that too. And of course, once we get back home its the inane but not unkind requests for update on symptoms etc - which really doesnt help.

This way we will simply be allowed to get on with our lives and deal with the results (either way) on our own. I don't want to have to deal with their sadness to; mine and my lovely DH's is quite enough thank you. And if we are lucky enough to find we are expecting, then I don't want to let the world know until I am past 12 weeks at least. I waited the last time and boy was that the right decision. We lost our little one at exactly 12 weeks to the day, I was so glad I told so few. I found our grief was hideous, but to have to constantly explain or even just accepting comfort was much harder.

So I'm not being negative, I've just put a bit of a bolster cushion down for the inevitable shock either way. Let's hope this time we get those seemingly unattainable 2 red stripes!



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